Job Application #1
By Jo-ann McMahon

I would like to apply for the position of concession stand attendant. I think the distance would not be a good thing. However, if you would consider me, I would work for no pay with the condition that all shows were free for my viewing, so I would get tickets on all shows! And, not so much because they're free, but because I would enjoy all shows that are available for us to view. Now if you do consider me, even though there is a distance, here is my resume:

Jo-ann M. McMahon
Snowman's Land
c/o East Coast, USA
Boston, Massachusetts

Objective:
To seek satisfying employment distributing and selling creative, ugly, disparaging, creepy treats for consumption by faithful, loyal phantom fan. Not willing to deal with phans that have trouble over deciding what they are willing to touch or consume.

Employment to Present:
Avid reader of phantom phan boooks, especially those written by author, Etienne de Mendes.

Prior to 2007
Reader of 'other books'...nothing to move me as much as phantom books.

Specialties:
Phreaky Phantom Phizzy:
1 scoop creepy chunky chocolate ice cream
3 sprits of creepy chunky chocolate sauce
3 scoops of creepy chunky chocolate chips
1 large spray of creepy chocolate whipped cream

Heavenly Happy Ending Sundae:
1 scoop of wickedly white ice cream
1 scoop of wickedly white marshmallow miniatures
1 large spray of wickedly white whipped cream

I hope this gives you an incite as to how I can deliver the treats!

References upon request.

Comments: With the economy the way it is, any smile laugh or chuckle towards a phantom phan's enjoyment is the only objective the above has to offer, especially toward the author, Etienne de Mendes, the website and staff.

Thank you for your attention to this matter!!!!!!!!!!

READER COMMENTS

You're hired for the graveyard shift. Midnight to dawn, Monday's Wenesday's and Friday's. The job includes all of the cyber treats you can eat and a special viewing of theater presentations. Congratulations!
The Webmaster

A very unique piece of funny! You obviously have talent with condiments.
Etienne

This is hysterical, thanks so much for writing it. I'm at my very mundane job and still laughing!
Ella J.