Job Application #1
By Jo-ann McMahon
I would like to apply for the
position of concession stand attendant. I think the distance would not be a
good thing. However, if you would consider me, I would work for no pay with
the condition that all shows were free for my viewing, so I would get tickets
on all shows! And, not so much because they're free, but because I would enjoy
all shows that are available for us to view. Now if you do consider me, even
though there is a distance, here is my resume:
Jo-ann M. McMahon
c/o East Coast, USA
To seek satisfying employment distributing and selling creative, ugly, disparaging, creepy treats for consumption by faithful, loyal phantom fan. Not willing to deal with phans that have trouble over deciding what they are willing to touch or consume.
Employment to Present:
Avid reader of phantom phan boooks, especially those written by author, Etienne de Mendes.
Prior to 2007
Reader of 'other books'...nothing to move me as much as phantom books.
Phreaky Phantom Phizzy:
1 scoop creepy chunky chocolate ice cream
3 sprits of creepy chunky chocolate sauce
3 scoops of creepy chunky chocolate chips
1 large spray of creepy chocolate whipped cream
Heavenly Happy Ending Sundae:
1 scoop of wickedly white ice cream
1 scoop of wickedly white marshmallow miniatures
1 large spray of wickedly white whipped cream
I hope this gives you an incite as to how I can deliver the treats!
References upon request.
Comments: With the economy the way it is, any smile laugh or chuckle towards a phantom phan's enjoyment is the only objective the above has to offer, especially toward the author, Etienne de Mendes, the website and staff.
Thank you for your attention to this matter!!!!!!!!!!
You're hired for the graveyard shift. Midnight
to dawn, Monday's Wenesday's and Friday's. The job includes all of the cyber
treats you can eat and a special viewing of theater presentations. Congratulations!
A very unique piece of funny! You obviously have talent with condiments.
This is hysterical, thanks so much for writing it. I'm at my very mundane job and still laughing!