From the Desk of the Great and Mighty Count

by Steven Pentecost

Subject: Use of company space
Violator: (1) Fiony Todwellette

Mademoiselle Todwellette,

It has been brought to my attention that you have been using your company cubicle as a Lair for Evil. As a former sneaky protagonist, I can both appreciate and admire your desire to spread such tyranny, but I must ask that you refrain. The use of evil flying monkeys to attack your co-workers and steal their office supplies must come to an end. We have recently received a delegation from the Land of Dispatchkins. We greeted the Al Crow, Dan Man, and The Lion King with open arms. Dorothy Shirley was a little less pleasant but I digress. I have heard their complaints and have redirected them to you. I have requested that they bring me your letterhead back as proof that they have visited you and asked that they deliver a bottle of water to you as a peace offering. In the event that you should dislike the water and refuse to willingly give up your company letterhead they have been instructed to throw the water on you. Should you choose to melt at that time and give off a nauseating / smoking green fume, we will be forced to withhold your paycheck until such time as you are able to repay any sprinkler related water damage. Now as for the subject of employee threats, they will not be tolerated either. Dorothy Shirley has accused you of making vague threats. She quoted you as saying, “ I am going to get you and your little stapler too.” Now Mademoiselle Todwellette, we cannot have you making such threats from your cubicle. If these threats continue, The Great and Powerful Count reserves the right to have an object fall upon you from the sky. Not to sound dramatic but we are prepared to launch this barrage of paper wads at any time. If it comes to such an end, at that time we will take back the company issued footwear you have. In short and in closing, please refrain from using your cubicle as a Lair of Evil, leave Dorothy Shirley alone, and finally…stop playing with your monkey at work.

READER COMMENTS

Very creative!
Etienne

I especially liked the memo about turning the cubicle into a Lair of Evil. It was creative and funny! This mate is a very clever one. Looks like the “forum” is finding its feet.
G.K. Sinclair